Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Ever Closing Drums of Tribal Music


I haven't posted in a while, and aren't likely to until at least November. Poss Mid-oct but I'm busy. I've an anti-Union vid thing for Youtube to do, a flat to clean and delocate from for three weeks and a novel to write. I'm sure you understand.

To keep you going, I'm going to impart a wee bit of culture into your otherwise worthless lives. It concerns two of my favourite bands at the moment, neither of which (to my knowledge) plug their instruments in (I like Marlyn Manson as an example of my usual tastes...)

In the beginning was Clann an Drumma and it was good. Then someone took the huff and Albannach was formed. Not sure how, why, where, when and what "musical differences" caused the split but where there was 'one' so there became two.

Firstly, a (very) brief overview:

Wiki CnD: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clann_An_Drumma
Wiki Albannach: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albannach

CnD's website: http://www.clannandrumma.com/
Albannach's Website: http://www.albannachonline.com/

What seemed to happen was the Joe MacKenzie wanted to rewrite the history of pipes and drums, did it, broke up his band a few times and there ended up being two bands wanting to play tribal music. Not wanting to relish in some dudes pain, but two bands as good as this deserve (a) a plug and (b) for us to like the fact that where there was one, now there is two. Am I sick to want another? (There's one called, Trybe, but I've not heard them yet. Answers at kenny.sheerin@gmail.com ...)

I'm sure you want to listen to see why I love them so much. Some musical interludes from their own websites:

Clann an Drumma:

Full list of tracks available is here: http://www.clannandrumma.com/sounds.html
Best track is this one: http://www.clannandrumma.com/clans.mp3

Albannach:

Ripping stuff from Albannachs website is difficult (unless you have the CD itself and I like them too much for THAT kind of copyright infringement).

Stop at their Myspace website first to listen free and easy to their music:
http://www.myspace.com/albannachonline

Then go to their official "radio station" on their website here: http://www.albannachonline.com/music.htm (you'll need WINamp to hear it, and in my opinion a comment or two from the band in between their album tracks wouldn't go amiss).

Anyway, go off and have a listen and tell me you don't enjoy it.

Fanks.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My Country

I have a country.

I created it.

It is mine.

http://www.nationstates.net/tribal_music

This is being posted as I've now got 500 million residents. I'm so proud... Well... not entirely. I seem to have been categorised "Inoffensive Centrist Democracy". I'd much prefer "Commie Scottish Bastard" but there doesn't seem to be an option.

Oh well...

Friday, September 08, 2006

A 419 Scam template reply

Dear Sir,

thank you for your 419 Scam, but at the present time - unfortunately - I am presently being detained by the CIA in one of their secret rendition prisons.

Man - torture sucks.

Anyway, until I am released here is a picture for you to enjoy.

Kenny
-----------



On 9/8/06, tarek omar <mr_taomar2004@walla.com> wrote:


Dear Friend,

Confidencial and top secret

I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise. I am the bill and exchange manager in Bank of Africa. I Hoped that you will not expose or betray this trust and confident that i am about to repose on you for the mutual benefit of our both families.

We need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of $11.3million immediately to your account.The money has been dormant for may years in our Bank here without any body coming for it.

We want to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer(the owner of the account)who died a long with his supposed next of kin in an air crash since July 2000.

We don't want the money to go into our Bank treasury as an abandoned fund. So this is the reason why i contacted you, so that my bank will release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased cutomer.

Please we would like you to keep this proposal as a top secret and delete if you are not interested.

Upon receipt of your reply, i will send you full details on how the business will be executed and also note that you will have 25% of the above mentioned sum if you agree to transact the business with us.

MR TAREK OMAR
Bank Of Africa,Burkina Faso-West Africa



Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Sunday, August 20, 2006

White Rabbit


This post is about Revolution.

It takes the virii of the other struggles and exposes you to them.

What you do with them is up to you.

"The Revolutions says:

I was
I am
I will be again"

Seed the First

Today I was at Stonehaven, to commemorate the victory of the Wallace over Dunottar Castle.

I made the rally and photographed it. Photos and story later. I didn't make social for personal reasons. Hopefully someone can recount the carousing for you. I'll probably have to ask them, but in case someone is reading this (e-mail me or PM me on the Siol nan Gaidheal forum).

http://www.waichung.demon.co.uk/william/rebel.htm


Seed the Second

"It wasn’t just about killing Americans, and killing pigs, at least not at first. It was about attacking the illegitimate state that these pawns served. It was about scraping the bucolic soil and exposing the fascist, Nazi-tainted bedrock that the modern West German state was propped upon. It was about war on the forces of reaction. It was about Revolution.

"The Baader-Meinhof Gang certainly didn’t expect to win their war by themselves. They assumed an epic proletarian backlash would be the Revolution’s true engine. They assumed their wave of terror would force the state to respond with brutal, reflexive anger. They assumed that West German civil liberties and civil rights would be quashed as the state turned the clock back 25 years to the Nazi era of open fascism. They assumed that the proletarian West Germans would react in horror as the true nature of their own government was revealed. They assumed that factory workers, bakers, and miners, would be inspired to smash their own oppressors. They assumed that they would be the vanguard of a movement where millions of Germans brought Revolution home."

Richard Huffman
from: http://www.baader-meinhof.com/gun/chapter/index.htm


Seed the Third

"In 1972, Currie and McGuigan, inspired by the willingness of an elderly woman to starve herself to death for the independence of Scotland, re-established the Tartan Army, this time to "fight" on Scotland's side.

"When the name exploded on the Scots public it sounded comical. The Scots know little of their own history, political, cultural or industrial and most of them suffer from an endemic disease called The Scottish Cringe. However a journalist in a Scotch tabloid, the Daily Record, hit on the idea of dubbing the tartan bedecked followers of Scotland's national football team with the name which has now passed into the everyday vocabulary, not only of the Scots, but of soccer followers the world over; The Tartan Army."

Author Unknown - The Tartan Army:
http://www.electricscotland.com/history/tartan_army2.htm


Seed the Fourth

Tartan terrorist found hanging in cell hours before facing court

FRANK URQUHART

THE notorious Tartan terrorist convicted 11 years ago of masterminding a Scottish National Liberation Army terror campaign, committed suicide in his prison cell yesterday, only hours before he was due to appear in court on charges relating to a security alert linked to the opening of the Scottish Parliament.

Andrew McIntosh was found hanging in his cell at Aberdeen’s Craiginches prison, shortly before was scheduled to appear at the city’s sheriff court on firearms charges.

He was one of three men arrested ten days ago - the day the Queen performed the opening ceremony at the Scottish Parliament - after a massive police operation involving officers from the Grampian and Lothian and Borders forces.

McIntosh, 49, was jailed for 12 years at the High Court in Aberdeen in December 1993, after being convicted of being the tartan terrorist commander behind a ruthless letter-bomb and bomb-hoax campaign in Scotland and England.

A xenophobic nationalist extremist who hated the English, he was part of an SNLA conspiracy aimed at coercing ministers at Westminster to establish a separate government in Scotland.

McIntosh, a former army reservist, was working as an oil- company courier when he was arrested ten years ago and charged with being part of a terrorist campaign to try to secure Scotland’s freedom from Westminster rule.

During a series of interviews with detectives in 1993, he boasted: "I am a volunteer soldier with the SNLA. I am a cell commander. The actions we have taken are directed at those people who are actively working against the interests of Scotland. Whatever I did, I did in the line of duty."

He was convicted of sending letter bombs to the Scottish Office in Edinburgh, the Dounreay nuclear plant in Caithness and the headquarters of Anglian Water in Huntingdon, and of targeting improvised mortar devices at the offices of four oil companies in Aberdeen.

McIntosh was further convicted of illegally possessing a Kalashnikov assault rifle, a sawn-off shotgun and a pistol as part of a lethal arsenal of weapons and ammunition - including CS riot gas cartridges - that was recovered at his home in George Street, Aberdeen.

The trial was told that the three-month campaign of terror he helped plan and execute brought chaos to Scotland’s four major cities and endangered the lives of men and women whose offices had been targeted by the extremist cell he led.

Lord Morison, the trial judge, told McIntosh: "I take into account that your activities have not resulted in deaths or severe injury to anyone, and, had that been the case, the sentence which I propose to impose would have been considerably longer.

"But these activities have caused very serious disruption in Scotland and very serious alarm. The crimes of which you have been convicted are extremely grave ones."

McIntosh was released in 1999 after serving six years of his sentence.

He was living in a high-rise flat in Aulton Court, in the Seaton area of Aberdeen, when he was arrested on firearms charges on 9 October, shortly before the Queen officially opened the Holyrood building. He was remanded in custody last Monday and was due to make a second court appearance yesterday. But he was found dead early yesterday morning when prison officers checked his cell.

A spokesman for the Scottish Prison Service said: "A prisoner on remand was found dead in his cell this morning at HM Prison Aberdeen, Craiginches. Andrew McIntosh, 49, from Aberdeen, was remanded on 11 October at Aberdeen Sheriff Court. Police and next of kin have been informed."

The spokesman, who refused to say whether or not McIntosh had been on suicide watch, added: "A fatal accident inquiry will be held in due course."

A Grampian Police spokeswoman said: "We attended at Craiginches prison after the report of the sudden death of Andrew McIntosh. Next of kin have been informed and a post- mortem will be carried out.

"Police investigations are continuing but it appears there are no suspicious circumstances. A report will be submitted to the procurator fiscal."

McIntosh was recently named as organiser of a group called "The Scottish Patriots" which has applied to stage a march through the centre of Aberdeen on 28 November - on the same day and along the same route as a proposed march by the far-right National Front.

One of the men arrested with him ten days ago made a second appearance in private at Aberdeen Sheriff Court yesterday afternoon. Alan McIntosh, 50, appeared in connection with alleged contraventions of the Firearms Act, 1968, and the Explosive Substances Act, 1883. He was fully committed for trial and released on bail.

The Crown Office said the other man, Graeme Robert Otterson, 32, from Aberdeen, who is known as MacOtter, had been released from custody.

This article: http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1213632004


Seed the Fifth

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_McGuinness



Seed the Sixth

http://www.siol-nan-gaidheal.com/muir.htm

Seed the Seventh

Make of this what you will.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

God and Man

This is partly to pay homage to a work in progress.

I lurk on a forum called first foot (which I lurk on because typing in Scottish jist rips ma knittin) but it contains possibly the most pointless thread on a Scottish Forum. To get a long long thread, usually you have to call it "my favourite music" of "images of Sarah Michelle Geller." The acronym of this practice, I think, is NAMBLA.

Anyway, tis here:

Never, has a thread (or NAMBLA) had so many pages with so little point.

I love stuff like this. It's pointless, but it's charming and they do it anyway.

So, what else has happened? I made a burny thing for a test photo. Test completed and Firefox learnt a few important lessons. Like wood doesn't like to burn. Not even when accompanied with some lighter fuel. I used half a tin and the bloody thing merely sat there looking charred.

Ah wis fair affrontit.

Fortunately I was in the middle of nowhere so my tantrum went unnoticed.

And this is the second point of my post: Why do all the interesting bits of Scottishrana seem to involve ritual sacrifice?

I mean honestly... As a people we could've chosen to specialise a wee bit. The English, for example, their main feature - the thing you think most about them - is that what they do (and do well) is conquer places. We chose to invent a lot (and I mean A LOT) of stuff, be conquered, invent some more, dabble in art, politics, music, culture blah blah blah and SACRIFICE A FEW GOATS ALONG THE WAY.

Take my burny thing. Historians who know about this kind of thing mention in various versions of my burny thing (post here) that the burnyness gets put out with the use of specially sacrificed goat. That's our Whiskey heritage, right there in action. Several drunk clansmen, burning stuff, decide "Fuck it, where's the goat?"

Anyway, to another interesting snippet of Scottishrana: the Taghairm Ceremony. Basically involving stuff like carpets, waterfulls, and oh... surprise suh-fucking-prise more ritual sacrifice (this time for divination purposes).

I wouldn't be pissed off, but I still intend to make a real, accurate Crann Tara and I'm really not sure why. And (and out of all of the sentences that there are on this blog, I really, truly, honestly, never expected to end a blog post with the following sentence... If I had a poll of things I wasn't likely to end a post with, this'd be number one).

Where the hell am I going to get some goat's blood from?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Aberdeen and Stonehaven


Click on the picture to enlarge it. You will NEVER forgive yourself if you believe in Independence and do not attend at least ONE of these events (preferably both).

Aberdeen, the granite city isn't worth missing, and Stonehaven is unforgettable.

Just go.

Honestly.

GO.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

November Rain

In Anthony Burgesses seminal novel, A Clockwork Orange, he asked whether it was better for a man to choose to be bad, or forced to be good. For me, this is the dilemma facing the Scottish Socialist Party.

Tommy Sheridan is the most charismatic and enigmatic socialist of the modern era. Tommy remains the most successful. He is also, most probably, guilty of the charges laid against him. That being the case, however, the "United Left" are likely to be on a fools errand to stand against him, despite being right.

Welcome to the SSP's Culloden. In the October Conference, the ones put to the sword will be right. The will have upheld the truth in the most pointless manner possible outside of the First World War.

As a member of the working class, I want to believe Tommy, I honestly do, but I can't. To have so many people lie against you who have never been suspected of treason before is irreconcialable with the truth.

Now, I'm in the SRSM, previously accused of being involved with the SNLA and Irish terrorists. In my time of being involved, I don't think I've heard the term "grass" used so much.
.
My lack of posts on this has been because of the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing. I didn't want to believe Tommy was guilty, but when I heard the verdict, I failed grasp he was. Next, a whole shitload of ambivalence. I wanted Tommy to be innocent when he wasn't. This is the working class dilemma.

Their answer, oh so simple, was genius: "Don't grass on you own." It never mattered if Tommy was guilty or innocent. You JUST DON'T GRASS. But truth and justice will out, and why should WE be exempt?

Can you look eleven SSP members in the eye and call them liars? I can't. Can I look Tommy in the eye and tell HIM he's a liar?

I don't know. All I know is that the working class has lost now. There isn't a party to speak of. If we all knew he was guilty but united behind one cause and one leader I could easily cope with it. It was in the cause of a free Scotland and a Socialist Scotland. Now the only option is to unite behind traitors or liars.

Colin Fox, Tommy Sheridan's Sock-puppet cannot continue. The election is left to those who would be the architects of the future. Whatever that means.

What is left is philanderers, drug addicts, idiots, culture, alienation, boredom and despair. There's nothing left except the soft pitter-patter of the cold november rain following the suicide and funeral of the October Conference.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Carpentry

(N.B. it has been pointed out that some people I actually know read this blog. It came as much of a surprise to me... It is my duty - therefore - to point out to those people who know what a "Crann Tara" is, that the one I constructed only bears a passing resemblance to a real one. I am, after all, better with cameras that I am with hammers and saws.) KS

For a while I've had an idea for a photo in my head, one that required a bit of work beforehand. This, I realised. Somehow... I never actually bothered with all that preparation business... Until today.

The photo I had was of Crann Tara (in focus and in black and white) with some kind of representation of old Scotland behind it (slightly out of focus) - preferrably from the period a Crann Tara is from. I didn't fancy a monument, I want something "real" something completely unposed.

My first attempt to make one involved taking my camera to a brackeny area of kilsyth, finding some grass and some sticks and attempting to light them with some lighter fluid. You can guess the sheer scale of disaster that my mini-inferno caused.

Don't take my prediliction for fire-raising as being anything other than a symbolic realisation of an inherent Scottish primal spirit. It's a manifestation of the sun and the earth. I'm sure the poor farmer in Kilsyth saw it that way. Still, it's not like he was using the land anyway...

So, cut to Crann Tara version two. Cue Mr. Kenny outside his local B & Q with some rope (for another project) and a three meter wooden thingy out of which I would contruct at the very least a couple of Crann Tara.

"Kenny," quoth one of my acquaintences as she noticed me outside the Cumbernauld B&Q "are you planning on building a gallows with that?"

"Nah," I laughed "The ropes for... stuff and the Wood is for a Crann Tara."

This is when it struck me that normal people won't entirely get the whole "Crann Tara" concept, or my photographic ambitions for this piece of Scottishrana.

"What's a Crann Tara?"

"It's like a torch?"

"Is that just a Gaelic word for torch then?"

"Not quite."

"So what is it?"

My apologies, this is when I realised that telling the delectable passer by that I was, in fact, intending to build a wooden replica of a Scottish Fiery Cross and burn it somewhere symbolic. All in the name of photography.

I therefore explained this to her as eloquently as I could bring myself to do so. Unfortunely this was on a Saturday when I was still slightly hungover. Her reply was:

"You mean like KKK?"

"I'm not a Nazi."

"I just figured you'd gone past the left wing and straight on right round..."

"It's not a bad thing."

"Okaaay..."

"No... no... really. It's a burning emblem Scottish clansmen used to take from village to village to stir the clans. It's a tradition. I thought it would make a good photo. They've done in uprisings."

"Are you planning an uprising... Again?"

"It's purely photographical."

"Mmm-hm..."

Well, really... barbarians. Anyway, I continued home, did some stuff any between then and now and it's basically made. Just have to find a location. It looks... kind of like a cross. I did use nails, cos frankly I couldn't work out how you did one of those slot things. I'm pretty sure I've used the wrong type of wood and my accelerent is going to be some rags and some lighter fluid.

This... therefore... may well be my last post without all my skin burnt to a crisp, but I'm damn sure I'm getting a photo.

(this is why I avoid barbeques).

Anyway, for history and junk to read up, go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiery_cross

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Stuff

Coupla distractions from: http://monster.namedecoder.com


Knavish, Explorer-Nabbing, Nun-Eating Terror from the Hills



Kinetic Electronic Neohuman Normally for Efficient Troubleshooting and Harm

Friday, August 04, 2006

Full Text of Tommy Sheridan's Victory Speech

KS note: Obviously text doesn't do Tommy any justice, so just try and imagine a smidge of passion in it.

"On behalf of my wife and I, can I first of all thank my two sisters
and John Aberdeen, from Orkney, for being the best amateur legal team
in the world.

"We have over the last five weeks taken on one of the biggest
organisations on the planet, with the biggest amount of resources to
pay for the most expensive legal team, to throw nothing but muck
against me, my wife and my family.

"Well, brothers and sisters, what today's verdict proves is that
working-class people, when they listen to the arguments, can
differentiate the truth from the muck.

"The working-class people on the jury who have found in our favour
have done a service to the people of Scotland and have delivered a
message to the standard of journalism that the News of the World
represents.

"They are liars and we have proved that they are liars.

"I could never have conducted this case without the loyalty and
support of my wife, my mother, my father, my sisters, my family and
thousands upon thousands of working-class people in Scotland who want
me to get out of this court and start fighting for the things that
matter most.

"Against poverty and inequality in Scotland, and against war and
against nuclear weapons.

"Those are the things that matter most, brothers and sisters, and I
assure you we will retire for a few days to spend some quality time
with our 14-month-old daughter, whom we have had to be apart from for
most of the last five weeks, and that's been the largest and most
difficult thing to countenance.

"We'll spend some time, quality time, with our daughter Gabrielle over
the next few days but then I guarantee you, the people of Scotland who
believe in their hearts in justice, who believe in their hearts in
fighting poverty and inequality and who believe in their hearts in the
need to fight against war, I'll be back on the streets calling for the
Israeli troops to stop killing innocent people in Lebanon, calling for
the scrapping of nuclear weapons and to call for an independent
socialist Scotland

"I want to finish, brothers and sisters, by saying one thing. Gretna
have made it into Europe for the first time in their lives, but what
we have done in the last five weeks is the equivalent of Gretna taking
on Real Madrid in the Bernabeu and beating them on penalties, that's
what we've done."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

EXCLUSIVE! - Interview with the Daily Record Editor

It's with some pleasure that the Firefox Chronicles unveils an exclusive of it's own, an interview the Daily Record General Editor Lord Bunty McUnionist.

We found ourselves at a delapidated wee table in Molly Malone's pub off Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow. He didn't seem a stranger to his strange cocktail of Midori, Vodka and Orange.

Hello Bunty, how are you?

Who the hell are you?

I'm Kenny, you agreed to an interview... remember?

Ah, the Republican. Well, what? Siddown.

Er,,, thanks... Okay, to business then...

OI! [Bunty, leaning over his left shoulder has become slightly distracted and is bawling something at the barmaid. Soon he loses interest, and since the barmaid didn't work out what he was trying to bawl, it didn't really matter anyway] Yesh?

You're drunk!

You're one to talk, there you are shaking all over the place!

I think you'll find you just fell off your chair... Anyway. I wanted to get an interview with you to put to you some points about why your paper is so anti Nationalist, since a great majority of your readership must vote SNP...

Pah! [he waves, interrupting] Easy answer boy, they drove a fishing boat full of cash up the Clyde, parked it outside out local and what can I say, I'm not made of stone, I've got at least three families to support.

But sure that's...

Unethical [he leans over, conspiratorially] Let me tell you what unethical is, getting dumped out of a newspaper for some big mouthed arsewipe with a crap degree who slept with the Owner.

You mean like Paul Hutcheon from the Sunday Herald?

Zigzactly! It's about Tits and arses Sheerin, nuthing else. The truth doesn't sell newspapers. The public enjoy being spoon fed. Whether or not Sheridan spit-roasted that Latrina ... Holeface... whatever - [at this point he's pointing enthusiastically] an be honest you would have too had he fucking invited you - the spitroast stories sold more newspapers than Gail Sheridan's weeping denials and counterclaims. Why? Because they enjoy being slaves. They pretend they don't.

Surely that underestimates the more literate members of society?

What are you, Plato? Fuck off. Literate people are bright enough to read the Herald on the Internet and pay 10p to get some tits and arses!

This seems as good a time as any to bring up the SSP.

It's great isn't it?

Do your sources support whether or not it's true?

Who gives a fuck! Two years of that trot shite, campaigning for this, trying to free that, civil liberties... blah blah blah and FINALLY [at which Bunty stands up and proclaims to the entire public house] they finally sell one of my bloody newspapers! I knew it would happen one day!

But don't you consider that maybe you are having a deretrimental effect on a political party which has, in the past, been principled and stood up for...

The same people who want to see Sarah O's cleavage?

In fairness that's not just the underclass, but I'll grant you a point, continue:

You see, all political parties do for newspapers is sell them. And preferably with sex.

Woodward and Bernstein in the 1970s made a name for themselves by their commitment to Investigative Journalism, and exposed grand-scale corruption in Government ranks. We all know this goes on in Labour heartlands, but none of the newspapers expose it because they're in the payroll! Is that not an abuse of journalistic ethics?

No. There AREN'T any journalistic ethics. There never have been. Not even for Woodward and Bernstein. Their "expose" is written like a cheap thriller and Woodward sold out a long, long time ago. We adopt the eleventh commandment: THOU SHALT NOT GET CAUGHT!

Friday, July 28, 2006

One pill makes you larger, one pill makes you small (go ask Alice)

Something to do with Reconnaissance

Okay, so maybe I couldn't resist hitching up with Phase 2 of Neurocam. Since I wasn't that involved in Phase 1.

Course, some of you people won't have the slightest idea of my obsession with Australians. I'll get to that, but first, a flashback...

Last year I was surfing the internet and came across a post on the TOTSE website which some monkeyboy made a post about Neurocam, and this weird thing that a lot of people were involving themselves on the internet.

The first thing I did, was to check out the website: Neurocam

The second thing I did was read an article in an Australian Newspaper called the Age

I was intruiged. By the time I had read the list of blogs below, I was hypnotised, entranced...

Teigan
Chris Titan
Xade
Egotript
Beltaine
Lady J
Steve Cronin
Adam

I also flirted with the Neuroboards. And then I didn't.

The eagle eyed amongst you will notice that there's bugger all there now unless you dig, dig, dig. I put the list up, cos I still pay a visit now and then.

If, for some reason, you have become hypnotised too, I suggest three things:

1. Download "Age of Aquarius" by the Mamas and the Papas and "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane, get yourself some Absinth or Glenmorangie Scotch Whisky and...
2. Make google your best friend (because you'll need it).
3. Make a friday night of it.

When they announced Phase 2, I stared at the "Registration" screen for god knows how many full days before joining again. Like I said, I couldn't help it. It's why I posted that Dave Gorman stuff. I understand and sympathise with obsession. Maybe I'll write a book about the 'Cam and put it on Lulu. I seem to be one of the few people not scared of my own real name (yes, if you try hard enough you'll find Kenny Sheerin in the Electoral Register. (don't hold your breath for the book). In other news, my debut novel "RockX" is almost ready for publication, and I'll be using Lulu when it's done.

So I did the perception assignment, the q & a and eventually got my first assignment. It's done and a week passed now.

I think I'll pass on the Neuroboards for now. Nice people, but I don't know what to say.

Why am I doing it? I don't honestly know. You know those kids in teen movies who go into the basement where the Zombie Girl / Mutant / Alien / Serial Killer / Vampire is? That's the way I view curiosity. Risk versus knowledge. But only if it's worth it. Teigan's reports of burnout, Chris Titan and Beltain's insane prophesies, it makes the journey more interesting. The fallout of Phase 1, the trials and tribulations on various boards... It's facinating. I can't help myself...

Right now I'm listening to "Interstellar Overdrive" by Pink Floyd. In honour of Syd Barrett.

Anyone want to donate a Kabuki Mask?

Sunday, July 23, 2006

The Jacobite Claimants and The Claim of Right of Ordinary Citizens

History will record Michael Roger LaFosse as a fraud. Today's Sunday Mail has reported that Michael has departed Scotland for his mother's in Belgium, though one internet forum with sources I trust say that he has gone back to his Father's in Belgium.

Either way his claim has now invoked investigations into his "Charities" and unless this story has a 24-style twist, this is the last we will see of Michael of Albany.

My reason for writing this is neither to gloat, nor to jump on either a Jacobite or Anti-Michael bandwagon. I remain a Republican. I will work with anyone to gain Scottish Independence, but I will never knowingly put a monarch on any throne. My traditions and my history is clear (United Scotsmen, 1820 Martyrs, John Maclean). My purpose is merely to show how a claim of right continues to exist, and exists outside of Michael.

Monitoring the various internet forums is always sketchy, and most of the main players tend to speak in tongues amongst themselves. What has been mentioned is a "Jacobite Council" set in October to discuss this and other issues. It will be interesting to see how this moves the Jacobite movement forward.

Michael's website "The Royal House of Stewart" has ceased broadcasting in the past week. But broadcasts of other claimants continues. I have no knowledge what Scottish Jacobite's think of this, but two claimants are mentioned below.

From Wikipedia (bold, links, italics Wikipedia's own, not mine):

Franz Bonaventura Adalbert Maria Herzog von Bayern (born July 14, 1933), styled as His Royal Highness The Duke of Bavaria, is head of the Wittelsbach family, the former ruling family of the Kingdom of Bavaria. He was born in Munich, the son of Albrecht Herzog von Bayern and of his first wife, Countess Maria Draskovich von Traskotjan. He is a great-grandson of the last King of Bavaria, Ludwig III, who was deposed in 1918. He is also the current heir of James II of England, of the House of Stuart, and thus is considered by Jacobites to be the current rightful ruler of Great Britain, though he himself has never publicly made this claim.
There may, or may not, be Scottish Jacobite supporters for this gentleman. The website "Defenders of Scotland" certainly advertise for "Scots or those of Scots Descent" but the address (should you wish to contact them) is: The Order of the Lion Rampant, P.O. Box 54525, London E15 3WQ.

My sole comment (from a personal perspective) is because of something I spotted on one of the websites dedicated to Franz was the cipher; "FIIR" This, I take exception to. It's located here: http://www.defendersofscotland.org Scottish Republicans defaced Elizabeth of England's cipher when they were erected in Scotland in the 1950s on the basis that there had never been an Elizabeth the First in Scotland. I don't see why we should do any different should Franz change his mind and come to Scotland. Rewriting Scottish History is abhorrent and something I campaign against (via the Nine of Diamonds Project). So who, in Scottish History, was "Francis I"?

The other claim I'll point out is: Count Peter Pininski a Polish Historian (and presumably a Count).


History discloses her secrets in curious ways - sometimes centuries if not millennia after the event. Meanwhile myths, legends or, at best, reasoned theories fill the voids. There are few better examples of this than in the chequered lives of the later members of the Royal House of Stuart. But now, the chance linking of clues and discovery of some extraordinary circumstantial evidence held in the archives of seven European countries has resulted in a fundamental review of long-accepted conclusions about the presumed extinction of this most colourful and tragic royal family.

This is a story of love, passion, intrigue and tremendous family loyalty, meticulously traced back over many generations by Count Peter Pininski, an independent historian in Warsaw. It is also his story and it has led him from Scotland across the European continent in his exploration of historic events and the relationships between members of the Scottish, French and Polish nobility, culminating in a ground-breaking historical conclusion.

THE STUARTS - A SECRET REVEALED

Interview by Sarah Powell


This guy I only learned about this morning after e-mailing a former Michaelite why the website was down and about the Sunday Mail article. The article comes from remarkable sources: Burke's Peerage, The Guardian, all dating from a couple of year's ago. Now, clearly, there may be other candidates, but given time resources and my own political beliefs, if you want them added to this list you'll have to e-mail me.

In all three cases, there is a common thread: the unexpected and tenuous survival of the Stewart Dynasty. This is not a comment on Current Jacobites, as they are entitled to believe in what they will (given the human resources available to them). But it bears expanding upon: what is the claimants' genuine motive? Is it the wellbeing of the Scottish People; Is it to right a Historical wrong; Is it for personal gain? Franz also claims to be "Pharonic". Right now, you can assume I'm shouting at my computer screen, but to be fair I must only say this: The Pharoh's were conquered fair and square by the Greeks and the Romans, their lands were occupied by Napoleon, the British, etcetera long after the lineage had ceased any genuine claim of right. Even so, the last dynasty wasn't "Egyptian" but a result of the best military tactician in history, Alexander the Great. The last Dynasty (and yes, that includes Cleopatra), was one of Alexander the Great's Generals, Ptolemy.

Franz's website is most curious in that it has an address in London. But why am I complaining, because so did James VI. The current monarchs, the Mountbattens or the Saxe-Cogburg-Gotha's are German as well. The Stewart's also believed in the Divine Right of Kings.

No matter how frustrated I get with the stupidity of the general public at times (cooing over Big Brother / Waynetta Rooney / Who Tommy Sheridan spit-roasted with his brother-in-law) I believe in the Divine Right of the General Public. We fought, and won, the right to vote. I believe we should also fight, and win, the divine right to succeed the Head of State with a man or woman of OUR choosing. Not because we are petty, but because fundamentally we are a good people.

You can see a cenotaph in most towns where the dead of two World Wars are commemorated. You can also plaques and commemorations to the Radicals who fought for the vote. There's one to the United Scotsmen in Huntershill I photographed recently. There is one in Condorrat to our own Radicals. Why must we die to live free and not get to choose our own destiny rather than let genetics pick our leader's for us?

Who are you? You, reading this right now. Who are you? Why should YOU not be leader if you are talented enough? Now, people are going to point out that "Kings" and such are purely tourist roles and make us money. So does selling arms to Muslim fanatics, but no-one's suggesting that's a good idea (actually it's perfectly legal to broker arms deals via third parties, but that kind of destroy's my point...) Trading freedom for money is wrong and devalues the currency of our culture. And also, unlike the Americans, we lose a post which could make our country more effective. The equivalent to Brenda of Buckingham Palace in America is the President. Tony Blair, in terms that are equal, is lower down the pecking order.

But I'm losing my point to ranting, aren't I? Without a figurehead, true or not, the Jacobite's have no claim of right. For Jacobitism to survive they need a figurehead. In real terms they can't get members without someone claiming to be King. You can't replace Brenda of BuckHoose with thin air.

The song said: "Will ye no' come back again?" And he did. But his part was played by a fraudster. So who will, if anyone, succeed? One of the one's I pointed out? The groundswell of support that Michael gained is impressive and one can't deny for anyone who believes they have a true claim of right that it wouldn't be tempting.

But the people concerned, those ordinary Jacobites I've met up and down Scotland. I went into those commemorations with suspicion and craven Republican self-righteousness I now abandon. I will never see them succeed, but I do admire them. They're good people, and they believe in Independence. If believing in a Stuart / Stewart head of state makes them happy, then all well and good. But one must remember the biggest claim of right of all, and that is of the Scottish People themselves. It was not monarchs who created our culture but US. Any potential King or Queen would do well to remember that.

References for aspects of this article:

In relation to Jacobite Claimants:

http://www.burkes-peerage.net/sites/common/sitepages/page13e-aug.asp

http://www.defendersofscotland.org/monarch.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kings_of_Scotland
Sunday Mail Article
http://www.burkes-peerage.net/sites/common/news/news150402.asp
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,3604,683641,00.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franz%2C_Duke_of_Bavaria

In relation to my "Rant":

Thomas Paine - The Rights of Man
Andrew Hardie - Account of the Bonnymuir Uprising (not currently online or generally available - contact me if you want a copy)
Donnie Fraser - United Scotsmen
Peter Berresford Ellis and Seamus Mac A'Ghobhainn - The Scottish Insurrection of 1820
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ptolemy_I_Soter

Open Public Forums discussing aspects related to this article
(note: I'm not a member of either of these - you don't have to be to read them - I'm not on the side of anyone discussing this. I am, and remain on the same side I have always been on: Kenny Sheerin's side. These are for reference only.)

http://www.thebloodisstrong.com/phpBB/index.php
http://aztech.ws/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=55

Notes

1. Photograph of Michael taken by myself at the Sheriffmuir Anti Pylons Rally
2. Photograph of Franz from his own website (photographer unknown)

Why Because? Just Because...





Tuesday, July 18, 2006

How Evil are you?

Nicked from hakakuri419

You Are 84% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Dadaist Manifesto by Tristan Tzara

DADA EXCITES EVERYTHING

DADA knows everything. DADA spits everything out.
BUT . . . . . . . . .
HAS DADA EVER SPOKEN TO YOU:
      about Italy
      about accordions
      about women's pants
      about the fatherland
      about sardines
      about Fiume
      about Art (you exaggerate my friend)
      about gentleness
      about D'Annunzio
      what a horror
      about heroism
      about mustaches
      about lewdness
      about sleeping with Verlaine
      about the ideal (it's nice)
      about Massachusetts
      about the past
      about odors
      about salads
      about genius, about genius, about genius
      about the eight-hour day
      about the Parma violets
NEVER NEVER NEVER
DADA doesn't speak. DADA has no fixed idea. DADA doesn't catch flies.
THE MINISTRY IS OVERTURNED. BY WHOM?

BY DADA
The Futurist is dead. Of What? Of DADA
      A Young girl commits suicide. Because of What? DADA
      The spirits are telephoned. Who invented it? DADA
      Someone walks on your feet. It's DADA
      If you have serious ideas about life,
      If you make artistic discoveries
      and if all of a sudden your head begins to crackle with laughter,
      If you find all your ideas useless and ridiculous, know that
IT IS DADA BEGINNING TO SPEAK TO YOU
cubism constructs a cathedral of artistic liver paste
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
expressionism poisons artistic sardines
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
simultaneism is still at its first artistic communion
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
futurism wants to mount in an artistic lyricism-elevator
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
unanism embraces allism and fishes with an artistic line
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
neo-classicism discovers the good deeds of artistic art
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
paroxysm makes a trust of all artistic cheeses
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
ultraism recommends the mixture of these seven artistic things
WHAT DOES DADA DO?
creationism vorticism imagism also propose some artistic recipes
WHAT DOES DADA DO?

WHAT DOES DADA DO?

50 francs reward to the person who finds the best
way to explain DADA to us

Dada passes everything through a new net.
Dada is the bitterness which opens its laugh on all that which has been made consecrated forgotten in our language in our brain in our habits.
It says to you: There is Humanity and the lovely idiocies which have made it happy to this advanced age
DADA HAS ALWAYS EXISTED
THE HOLY VIRGIN WAS ALREADY A DADAIST

DADA IS NEVER RIGHT

Citizens, comrades, ladies, gentlemen
Beware of forgeries!

Imitators of DADA want to present DADA in an artistic form which it has never had

CITIZENS,
You are presented today in a pornographic form, a vulgar and baroque spirit which is not the PURE IDIOCY claimed by DADA
BUT DOGMATISM AND PRETENTIOUS IMBECILITY


Paris January 12, 1921
E. Varèse, Tr. Tzara, Ph. Soupault,
Soubeyran, J. Rigaut, G. Ribe-
mont-Dessaignes, M. Ray, F. Pi-
cabia, B. Péret, C. Pausaers
R.Hülsenbeeks, J. Evola, M. Ernst,
P. Eluard, Suz. Duchamp, M. Du-
champ, Crotti, G. Cantarelli, Marg.
Buffet, Gab. Buffet, a. Breton
Baargeld, Arp., W. C. Arensberg,
L. Aragon

For all information
write "AU SANS PAREIL"
37, Avenue Kléber.
Tel. PASSY 25-22

--- From Approximate Man and Other Writings,
Translated and Edited by Mary Ann Caws
(Wayne State University Press)
Reprinted in
"Teachers & Writers Collaborative"
5 Union Square W.
New York City 10003

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Bite my shiny metal ass!


"Futurama" gets new life on Comedy Central | Reuters.com: "'Futurama' gets new life on Comedy Central
Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:36pm ET15

By Andrew Wallenstein

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - 'Futurama' has a future.

Comedy Central has resurrected the former Fox animated series from 'The Simpsons' creator Matt Groening and David X. Cohen. At least 13 new episodes will be produced -- the first since the series' original run from 1999-2003.

The new batch is part of a deal the cable network made with 20th Century Fox Television last year to pick up syndicated rights to the existing 'Futurama' library of 72 episodes. Comedy Central also had an option to air any new episodes produced.

New and old episodes will begin airing in 2008 on Comedy Central. Actors Billy West, Katey Sagal and John DiMaggio have agreed to return as voices for 'Futurama.'

'We are thrilled that Matt Groening and 20th Century Fox Television have decided to produce new episodes of 'Futurama' and that Comedy Central will be the first to air them,' said David Bernath, senior vice president for programming at the network.

'There is a deep and passionate fan base for this intelligent and very funny show that matches per"

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Bannockburn on Saturday

It is supposed to be the SNP annual Rally, but it never is. Everyone goes who believes in Scottish Independence, whether they believe or vote for the SNP or not.

We even go to the local party Social in the Tartan Arms to listen to Gaberlunzie and Albannach.

Last year Clann an Drumma (now less the five members who are now Albannach) played this little juicy piece of tribal angst:



Joe and the others went their separate ways, but it means (to me) two great bands and two great spirits, so I hope they'll all be cool with each other and keep us all Tribal.

But the music MP3 is what Bannockburn avec et sans SNP is all about. Just listen to the music and get the fucking bus there.

Saturday.

Just do it. (fuck Nike btw)

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Sack Time Video



I've seen these online for a while, and thought I'd pass this along. Check out the link at this snippet of surreal loveliness.

Titter ye much

Saturday, June 17, 2006

One Moment in Time...



Okay, so maybe the wee Irishman has a point. Maybe, for several glorious weeks we refrain from being slaves to being individuals.

But, since I'm assuming you've watched the damn thing, you'll have realised it is just a smidge sanctimonius.

The fact this promotes ESPN suggests that it is, as Chris Titan might suggest, a Fnord. It represents for society a state of mind and being of Bono. He is, patently, a man wanting just that wee bit more money than he has at present.

This is what Bono is: when my father was dying from Cancer, it was arranged that I would stay at the home of my aunt for a couple of weeks for a holiday. Usually one of the more favoured cousins went, but terminal cancer doesn't have a long time scale. So, I was sent that year. One of the funnier events was when my cousins Shane, Ciaron and I were playing football and he broke a window. His father banned him from football for a month. Since his mother hadn't asked the punishment, she banned Ciaron for two weeks. Ciaron, delighted said to my Aunt, "Fantastic!" To which she replied: "Why?" "Because Dad banned me for a month!"

This is MY Fnord. Bono, one of the richest men on the planet has scored where he has little reason to: because he is famous. It is sickly and inconsequential.

Will you be slaves to the ideal of lonely monopoly?

Sunday, June 04, 2006

What is the Nine of Diamonds Project?

Some weird stuff springing up around the internet.

This is from John's Blog: http://johnrmooney.blogspot.com/2006/04/thought-this-was-interesting.html

And then some MI6 training from Jarvis's Blog: http://www.myspace.com/jarvisbaird

Considering there's a link to this stuff you'd think I'd know more about it...

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Monday, May 29, 2006

Open Letter to the English

Dear English Readers (presumably there's at least one),
 
recently as you may be aware Scottish People have been reticent about supporting the English Football team at the World Cup. As an English person you may be suffering from a cornucopia of emotions regarding this surprise announcement after a millenia of hostilities between our two peoples.
 
As the official (and, admittedly, only) delegate to the English from this Blog I thought it was honour, nay duty to respond and clarify certain matters.
 
Firstly, at the annual "Scottish-Persons Orgy, Shindig and Annual General Meeting" some guy in a "See You Jimmy" hat (complete with garish red wig and cheap Barra's Kilt) made the following Motion to the assemblage:
 
We, the people, wish to establish the list, in order, of teams to support at this year's World Cup since our ain team wis too jaykied to play well enough to get in.
 
The Conference agreed and the draw took place. Surprisingly, all the teams in your World Cup league made it ahead of youse, and the fact you appeared in last place (behind the referee actually) is neither here nor there. Who knows, maybe next time you'll make it up there! (please note this is not a breath holding situation).
 
Now, initial case studies regarding this open letter suggested that it seemed to generate as much confusion as not writing did. Therefore, A Real Town Counterfeit Blog has introduced "Glove Puppet Explanation Theatre" for those too dimwitted to understand the above.
 
 
Thank you for listening.
 
Now please leave and go and have sex with something.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Scamming the Scammers 4 - the Twist

It turned out Lina seemed too normal to be a scammer and I thought I'd leave that one be.
 
I'm kind of guessing it had to happen... I used to be on the website I used (no surpirises there) but I hadn't used it in more months than I can be bothered to count.
 
So, it came as a surprise when I got a bite on a dead account. My photo and everything (but we'll avoid posting that link ☺)
 
Here is what Katya said:
 
Hello my dear friend Kenny!
I very for a long time waited for this moment and today, at last, I have received this long-awaited letter! I hope, we shall easily find with you common language because me to not be suffered to learn you closer. I want to learn about you as much as possible (if, certainly there will be no objections of you): whether you have been married, whether there are at you children? And it is far from being the list of questions on which I would like to hear answers. All this is very important for me for the reason that each letter from you will be important part ours, just the begun relations. In letters the key to a solution of your private world is covered. I should consider very seriously our correspondence, in fact a choice of the future partner in life - put very much not idle time. 
Now, I think, it is necessary to tell about myself a little: I was born 04.05.1978 years in a small small town near to Saratov. But has lived there rather not for long - on leaving school has acted in legal institute in the city of Saratov. After institute work on a speciality to find it was not possible, it is very difficult for making, because in our country it is a lot of lawyers. It was necessary to be arranged with the seller of home appliances though, to tell the truth, I a little, that in it understand and me constantly to have to consult at my girlfriend. She works in the next department, and I am very grateful to her that she has helped me to be arranged. Certainly, this not that work of which it would be desirable to dream, but nevertheless I to her value - the profit on this work is my unique income. The computer, to a huge regret, at me is not present, and consequently I use the Internet of cafe. I do not have what certain hobby because to be engaged something ser
 iously at me there is no time, after work I strongly get tired, and domestic have put too suffices. Sometimes in the days off we with the girlfriend visit pool. The love to water has woken up in me in the deep childhood, father very much frequently drove me on a small rivulet on which there is our small town, and taught me to float. But he had not to teach for a long time me because already then I felt like in water not less confidently, than on land. And now I very not bad swim, some times even supported institute in city competitions on navigation.
In the man I appreciate, first of all, his private world. Appearance does not play for me any value.
I think, that about yourselves you can make of my brief story small, but nevertheless, conclusions concerning me and my character. And if I have interested you, as the person and as the girl I with impatience shall look forward to hearing from you!
                                                 Katya.
 
Decent enough, could be normal, could be cool, but when I replied, two or three days late I got this:
 
Hello dear Kenny
You cannot present at all as I am glad to receive your letter! I have checked up a mail before work, and all my colleagues all the day long addressed with the same question: " That has taken place? Why you all shining with happiness? ". And I allowed all the same answer: " Probably, soon I shall become the happiest woman in the world! ". But I have not told him the reason of my pleasure because very much I am afraid to maleficiate our only begun relations.
You liked my first letter? I very much liked your letter. By your first letter, you the good person. I very much liked all that you in it have written.
Why you have chosen me from set of the girls registered on a site? What is the time you are in searches of the girl of your heart? I think these questions enough for the second letter. I would like to ask you that you did not hesitate and asked to me any questions on which you would like to hear answers. And still, please, describe more in detail the character and that, first of all, interests you in girls.
Now again it is a little about me.
I do not like arrogant, haughty and too self-confident people. Certainly, should be self-assured, but not too. By the way speaking, I do not have not enough confidence of. Probably it of that I very modest, vulnerable and trustful girl. As to my attitude to relatives to me to people, I very gentle, tender, devoted. Above all I do not like to argue and I try to concede, even when the person not the rights, but it does not mean, that I so was easy for offending that! When it is required, I can stand for myself. Now it is a little about my hobbies. As you have guessed from my first letter, I very much like to float, read books, to walk on fresh air. ! Very much a plenty of time, (practically from work) I spend all free time on kitchen, behind preparation of various dishes. My friends speak, that I perfectly prepare, I do not know so it whether or not, (very much I hope), but I invest all soul in each dish prepared by me.
With impatience I shall look forward to hearing!
                                                   Sincerely yours Katya.


It all seems rather eager, although I could be paranoid. But this much... after so short a time? Who knows, but it's the only lead I have.
 
It seems curious that my "scamming" attempt should come so close to someone replying to my dead account.
 
Insert your own cliche's here...

Monday, May 08, 2006

Scamming the Scammers 3

Well, it took a while, but we got a bite...
 
 
From: Lina341 Date: 08.05.2006 13:24 Hallo,

My name is Lina and I'm from St.Petersburg. I liked your picture and profile. If you want please write me on my E-mail lina20033@mail.ru

Lina
 
Can't figure out if she's normal of if she's a scammer... Hmm.... Seems a bit pretty to be "on the shelf" and from browsing she's been there a while, can't decide...
 
Thoughts...?
 
Anyway, my reply is  
 
Hi there Lina!

How are you?

I'm Jarvis, and I'm from Hamilton in Scotland, UK.

I'd really glad you liked my profile and picture, and I'd like to get know you better. I'm quite excited you are from Saint Petersburg, it is quite a mythical city in the west, especially here in Scotland.

I'd like to know what you're interested in, what kind of person you are and what you enjoy about life.

Please ask me anything about what you want to know and I will answer!

Jarvis
xx
 
...Some days I feel like such a complete heel... Hope I scored a scammer on my first go

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Scamming the scammers

So, I was smoking something officer-I-can’t-remember-purchased in Easterhouse and I came up with an idea. And it didn’t involve sneaking into a childrens’ party and switching the “Nelly the Elephant” CD for Killswitch Engage.

It can’t have escaped your notice that there isn’t anything on this Blog for a while. I’ve been busy… it’s not you… it’s me… I know I’ve neglected you, but darlin’… (I’ll stop this now, it’s starting to bug me as well).

Henceforth, I’m going to test out a wee game I like to call: “Scam the Scammer”. For a project I’m working on, I required some pictures of a girl. Not just any girl: a normal girl. Just girly wandering about. Stuff I could put on a fake Blog. Now, since I didn’t want to use any from my own archive, I thought: “Let’s use someone else’s.”

Therefore, it came to me: who’s not going mind giving me loads of pictures and not mind me using them. Russian dating scammers. They have to convince their marks there’s a real girl for them and part you from your dosh.

I was reminded of the demonically crazy Peter Dow – an Aberdeen based guy who gets his kicks from stalking university students, lecturing Republicans like me and generally spamming the planet. He put up a webpage, devoted to himself and trying to get a woman. Here: http://scot.8k.com/cgi-bin/framed/1420/lookingforawoman.htm

I took one look at the idea and decided I could use it for evil. I’d set up a fake profile, to attract some scammers and get some pictures and some kicks stringing them along a bit. Consequently, I put up a profile of www.match-seeker.com under the name Jarvis Baird, who’s a successful management consultant from Hamilton.

He has this to say about himself: “My name is Jarvis, and I'm from Hamilton in Scotland. I've become moderately successful in my career and interests, but now I've decided to take time to meet someone special, wine and dine them...”

Makes you want to boke, doesn’t it… And who does Jarvis want? “Anyone, anywhere. I want to spoil my princess and make her feel special.” Urg. I feel like I’m writing a Danielle Steele novel. Anyway, if I get any replies you’ll read them on here.

(yes I am a bad person).

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Tribal Banquet

So it was last June, and I was in the Cathouse Nightclub on a friday night. I made a stop by cos I was off to Bannockburn the next day and was about to go through a weekend of folk music, mostly which I don't like.

Bannockburn, as ever, was good. The SNP make like they can't really be bothered to be there, but realise if they don't people like me will pick up the banner (and they REALLY don't want that).

At the end, it all filters out and I get ready head down to the nearest chippy to refuel before the nights festivities. Something interrupts me though, everyone is conglomerating around the sounds of drums in the distance. It was closer, after the main rally had finished, to what I would've imagined the real bannockburn would be like. Drums and pipes shaking the landscape, and no sappy Embra Tattoo band to be soon. Just a bunch of misfits calling themselves Clann an Drumma.

For a someone who thinks all instruments should be plugged in to be real instruments, it was a revelation.

Later they played in the Tartan Arms for the "do" and it was hypnotic.

Cut to some months later and the band have split into two entities. Great, I say, cos I like them both and finally listen to something that's verging on spiritual.

The only bit about their divorce I can't pretend to like is that clearly Albannach got hold of the webmaster in the divorce. For Clann an Drumma, an entity clearly beautiful, to have such a drastically ugly website is... jeez... The ideas are there, the music patently has been for years.

Check out the car crash: http://www.clannandrumma.com and tell me you disagree. For such a great outfit to have such a shitty website is strange. The animation they use is amateurish, the events listings is incoherent and both the videos they have prove their band profiles are lacking (their own forum has it's members asking who the girl(s) are/is?)

Coming out smelling of roses was Albannach, who clearly inherited the webskills in the divorce. Check out: http://www.albannachonline.com Still, would rather have two great bands than complain about a website, but the difference is patently obvious.

Monday, April 03, 2006

The Ballad of Thomas MacFarlane

Ah ken't him weel, but ah didnae ken fae whaur,
just an auld man paralysed wi' awe in the street,
hugged by a few wha were there tae greet,
an' a few fae back then wha whaur there tae greet
when the Yeomanry hud murdered Baird and Hardie,
an' were sending a' oor finest awa in a British Fleet.

The glimmer in his lonely eyes wis fur us,
a people lang remembed, a lang regretted exile
aye, ah mind Thomas MacFarlane fae the 'twenty
even though forced separation had been a while
ah mind that irrepressible spirit fae the 'Scotsmen
when ah mind that inevitable spirit I still smile.

Everywhaur emptied and cam' oot fur an auld friend,
Condorrat, Airdrie, Stirling, worker, farmer, weaver,
we would talk aboot when the radical cam merchin' hame
whaur he telt about the English laming him fur his labour
an' bein' cramped in a stinkin' ship tae get there
But nae joy could be extinguished, and would thunder

Thomas said he would fecht like Muir till his last hour
a friend of the people, united an' proud
and wid accept nae quarter fae the rest ae us
because soon the day would come, and when
we, who survived Thomas would have to stand and
mak a' liberty minded Scots a free republic then.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Strike Diary

Today I was one of one and half million Local Government workers to strike against the Labour Party's pension changes.

8am: I turn up at the office to meet the other Stewards who have joined the Picket Line. Over the following few hours the picketing was beset with various problems. Partly security guards overstepping their authority, partly members of the public who didn't know there was a strike on (jeezo guys, watch the fecking news). Because we don't know who's a Union member and who's not, we end up speaking to everyone who passes "Why are you going past the picket?" "Because I'm a builder, not a council worker!" And so on. One of the stewards complained about lack of public support (in the sense that it wasn't 100%. I argued that any visual presence was decent.

12pm: Glasgow for the Rally. We indulge a march from Blythswood Square to Glasgow Green. I point out we're switching one Red Light district for another, and what the hell are the unions thinking? Apparently I'm the only person who notices this... The turnout is 10,000 and that's magnificient. The SSP makes a decent turnout which I'm glad of, because if they're going to recruit these people (i.e. Council Workers) they had to come out in force. Unison has already threatened to withdraw support for the 2007 elections, and the SSP needed force out there, and they were very visual.

The rally speakers were all pretty good, pretty left wing. I was impressed enough to not joke as much as usual. Mike Kirby (Unison Dude) was excellent. Much better than I would've thought. All Union speakers, all left wing. Played to the crowd, remained left wing. There was even a "So why the fuck are we paying into labour!" heckle which I'm pretty sure I was the only one to cheer (other than the SSP at the back).

So, pretty good today. Fuck your Union Jack, we want our pensions back!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Spring Schedule of talkSHITE UK Radio

Spring Schedules on the UK's most right-wing group of smegheads.

Ze Breakfast Show with Adolf Eichmann


"Finally ve haff a morning show vith vhich to finally scrub the cuntry clean of ze Asylum seekers. YOU SHALL NOT PHONE YOU SHALL LISTEN!"



The Morning Program with Gorgeous George


Controversial MP George has joined the UK’s only national socialist commercial speech radio station talkSHITE as a phone-in show presenter. The first time he has hosted his own broadcast show. Gorgeous said: "Anyone that enjoyed me being a pussy on Big Brother can now hear me being one on a daily basis."


The Butcher's Apron with the Duke of Cumberland

talkSHITE opens the first in the Duke's series on political issues with a full analysis on Scottish and Welsh Independence aspirations. The series starts with "Why do all those Jock and Taffy bastards end up smelly and drinking in doors those dirty Celtic sponging bastards." Naturally talkSHITE remains as impartial as always. A london cabbie said: "They bloody come down 'ere and take our jobs after free-hundred years of us ruling and 'spect us to loike it? Fuck it, we liberated the Falklands didn't we, they should be bloody happy and stay in Jockland." [note: the cabbie seemed unaware that the Falklands were not "near stornoway."]

Tune into talkSHITE now!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Plot Against Harold Wilson - a Review

I didn't think I'd start watching this BBC2 TV program, never mind end up being hypnotised by it. Imagine the plot to the Day of the Jackal carried out against Harold Wilson using the characters from All the Presidents Men.

Despite it's imaginative self-importance, there were several interesting nuggets tucked away, the main one being that Lord Mountbatten (who ended up as mush due to the INLA) was a Coup plotter in 1970s London against Harold Wilson.

To me, this seemed like a crisp-white shirt put on Peter Wright's Spycatcher. The program, with it's junior level spooks providing the "evidence" lacks the gravitas that Death of Yugoslavia had when it exposed it's conspiracy and which Peter Taylor's Irish Trilogy of Documentaries had in theirs. The biggest face they had was David Owen, failed Polician and failed Balkans negotiator.

Despite this, it was watchable, and exposed how close this country came to a Coup. Coming from the BBC this is surprising, but welcome. It didn't, and admittedly couldn't, go into what may have happened AFTER the alledged coup took place. Instead, and lamentably, it gave William Waldegrave the chance to crow about Democracy. How, exactly, one is supposed to draw a victory for democracy out of "Cold War Airstrip One," Private Armies plotting coups and communist infested trade unions is, to me, slightly exaggerating the pyrric victory.

But, anyway, to digress. Imagine Mountbatten DID lead his Coup and form an Interregnum Junta after toppling Labour. My own view is that Scotland was already on the brink as it was in the 1970s. Ireland was in flames anyway and Wales, well, they were slightly ahead of the Scots in the game.

Since the documentary COULDN'T make the point, I think I will. This documentary showed a number of interesting things, partly how close the Union came to it's final constitutional crisis. Neither the Scots nor the Welsh would have, or, presently, will not, accept an enforced junta.

It also shows the shape of things to come, if you really want to be THAT cynical. How WILL the ruling classes react when Scottish Independence is only a stones throw away? We know what they HAVE done, Willie Macrae's Grave marks that little example. But on a country wide level, out of the gutter of spooks and discarded guns, what does the ruling class itself do when it's ha'penny tricks don't work anymore? To me, you could see it in the tales of the coup plotters...

Bit of a paranoid / conspiracy theory'd blog tonight...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Some Random Factoids about Jack Bauer from 24

>> It's no use crying over spilt milk... Unless... was that Jack Bauer's milk?
>> Oh you are so screwed.
>>
>> The dinosaurs messed with Jack Bauer. Look what happened to them.
>>
>> Jack Bauer doesn't wish his girlfriend looked just like that Pussycat Doll.
>> Far from it. Jack is straight. Jack doesn't like transvestites.
>>
>> Jack Bauer is always far away. "This" far away from shooting you like the
>> dog you are.
>>
>> Bird Flu is a constant danger. We should never have let Jack Bauer go on
>> holiday.
>>
>> Jack Bauer gave Mike Tyson his lisp. Little bithch.
>>
>> An extract from his wedding vows: "Do you promise to love, honour, obey,
>> duck, roll, cover, shoot and look like Donald Sutherland for as long as
>> you both shall live so help your boab?"
>>
>> You cannot have safe secs with Jack Bauer.
>>
>> Jack Bauer has a sensitive side. Unfortunately it's just as violent as his
>> non-sensitive side. He likes Red Roses because of the thorns; he likes red
>> wine for the alcohol content and he likes cheerleaders because they've all
>> got Chlamydia.
>>
>> Jack Buer doesn't issue commands, he just points his gun at you until you
>> do what he wants.
>>
>> Jack Bauer's favourite quote: "I love the sound of snapped necks in the
>> morning."
>>
>> Jack Bauer's favourite colour is violet, but only because it sounds like
>> violent.
>>
>> Jack Bauer gets the "Where's Waldo?" every time.
>>
>> Jack Bauer CAN believe its not butter.
>>
>> Not even Jack Bauer can get Lynette to pick stuff up from the printer.
>>
>> the most common cause of death among middle eastern men is Jack Bauer.
>>
>> In 1921 the Belfast-built ship the Titanic sank in the middle of the
>> Atlantic. Even the laws of space and time can't stop Jack Bauer.
>>
>> There is no such thing as evolution, just animals Jack Bauer allows to
>> live.
>>
>> If Jack Bauer trips and falls, it wasn't a mistake. It was Jazz
>> interpretive dance.
>>
>> If you're running away from Jack Bauer and he shoots and misses, he wasn't
>> aiming at you. He was aiming at somebody else 12 miles away.
>>
>> You can fool some of the people, some of the time but you can't fool all
>> of the people all of the time. Jack Bauer can.
>>
>> You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make it drink.
>>
>> "It's 8am. Squirrels have stolen my cream bun and the door won't shut
>> right. I'm Jack Bauer, and this is my life. (Day not caught on film)"
>>
>> Superman wears Jack Bauer pyjamas.
>>
>> The only reason you're not unconscious right now is because Jack Bauer
>> doesn't feel like carrying you.
>>
>>

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Bruce 700 Commemoration


Bruce 700th, Saturday, March 25th 2007
There will be a commemoration to mark the 700th anniversary of Robert the Bruce's coronation as King of Scots. The time and place being the Bruce statue, Bannockburn, on Saturday, March the 25th, at 1pm.
t.

There shall be a short service conducted by the Scottish Knights Templar, along with talks by guest speakers who include historian David R Ross, the president of the Celtic league(Alba) Iain Ramsay, and the irrepressible Robbie the Pic


Then, over to the King Robert hotel for pints and a blether. All welcome.


Revelations