Movie Making

I'm not George Lucas, haven't been to film school, so when I obtained a fuzzy DVD of some home movie footage from the 80s and 90s with the instruction: "See if you can't get this into a better format, split up and back to me. Here's some CDs."

I can't deny, I was more than interested. In my naivety, I forgot to tell myself that I knew bugger all about converting this kind of stuff. Actually that's not entirely true. What I thought was: "How hard can it be?"

Occasionally over the past few months you'll have heard the odd rattling thump from this blog. It's not some cool new type of music (and this isn't myspace) it's my head rattling off a keyboard as I struggle with program after program trying to learn something that people go to film school for.

I've had to learn words like transcoding, encoding, VOB. It's still not done! My latest attempt at creating an AVI file (which I CAN use) from a VOB (that's DVD to you) is currently running in the background as I type this.

I think after this I'll use my newly learned skills to kill two birds with one stone: money and sex. If you need help with your porno call Mr. Kenny! (ahem).

The moral of this tale bloggerinos, is that if you ever hear yourself utter the words: "How hard can it be?" then back away from the monitor and go and have sex with something.

When do you see this masterpiece of movie making? You don't, I'm afraid. Only people involved in a secret society or join my cult* get to see the movie footage.

*and even this isn't guaranteed...

Next, let's plug the brand spanking new "Scottish Republican Voice" (created by someguy) as well as replug First Foot - by far the most entertaining forum I've read.

Finally, open letter to the BBC:

Dear BBC,

hello. I'm Kenny and I'd like to take issue with your BBC website headline: "World waits to hear oscar winners!"

One, I couldn't give a crap and you KNOW IT.

Two, when's Heather the Weather gonnae get a prime time show?

Yours,

Kenny