Tuesday, June 03, 2003

Alrighty? The rather pointless charade referred to as the Queen coming up the parliament was, for me, rather gleefully overshadowed by a Bomb Threat at Waverly Station in Edinburgh. To be honest, I reckon the police were itching for some over time.

I guess I should introduce myself since I've opened my own public blog. Hi! There you go, don't say I'm not nice to you.

I decided to do this because I was bored. I'm one of these people who likes watching the news, likes watching documentaries. But, to quote Hard Harry from the film Pump up the Volume. "All the greats have been used up and turned into theme parks."

"I'm sorry, but 10,000 of my brothers and sisters in Arran Sweaters is no advertisement for the protection of a language."

If you read most internet stuff on Scotland, you'd find a place that's either bedecked in Tartan or servile. That's not the Scotland that I know and live in.

It's a much funnier and cynical place that American Tartan Day is going to be able to show.

I'm a Republican, a Nationalist and a moaning, cynical bastard. Unlike most Nationalists I don't give a fuck about Gaihlig. Let the language die. I'm sorry, but 10,000 of my brothers and sisters in Arran Sweaters is no advertisement for the protection of a language.

I'm from Lanarkshire. No-one wants to protect the 100,000 strong language that my Lanarkshire Brothers and sisters speak. It's a little know one called "Nedage." There is no letter "T" in Nedage. One also speaks predominantly from the nasal cavity. One's voice must permanently sound like a motorbike starting.

Does the kilted SNP hierarchy protect Nedage? No. Not a jot.

I think I should get to my original point. And, despite my previous jokes, it is a serious one.

"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school." Helena Honham Carter in Fight Club.

There's a cancer at the heart of Scotland right now. You can feel it in the breeze of mediocre Saxophonists going down Buchanan Street in Glasgow. You can smell it when cheap wine makes the back seats of buses sticky with a generation of wasted lives.

Scotland now has it's own "Suicide Watch" Tsar, in the same way that a Drugs Tsar was created a few years ago.

Despite the fact I voted for the Scottish Socialist Party at the previous election. Despite my Republican Leanings. We look too much like white europeans for anyone to give a fuck racially. Political Correctness has made us bland. Each of the previous generations had a apocalypse to face. WW1, WW2, Korea, Vietnam, Cold War, Potential Nuclear Armageddon. Now our generation wakes up with the grim realisation that this crap didn't kill us and the adrenalin rush has left us directionless, far too familiar with drugery.

In the film, Fight Club, Brad Pitt (as Tyler Durden) said to the assembly in the Fight Club he created: "We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be millionares, movie gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're starting to figure that out." Mind you, I am quoting the film which gets Helena Bonham Carter to say: "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school." But you get my point.

Anyway, I'm done for the day.

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