Open Letter to the English
Dear English Readers (presumably there's at least one),
recently as you may be aware Scottish People have been reticent about supporting the English Football team at the World Cup. As an English person you may be suffering from a cornucopia of emotions regarding this surprise announcement after a millenia of hostilities between our two peoples.
As the official (and, admittedly, only) delegate to the English from this Blog I thought it was honour, nay duty to respond and clarify certain matters.
Firstly, at the annual "Scottish-Persons Orgy, Shindig and Annual General Meeting" some guy in a "See You Jimmy" hat (complete with garish red wig and cheap Barra's Kilt) made the following Motion to the assemblage:
We, the people, wish to establish the list, in order, of teams to support at this year's World Cup since our ain team wis too jaykied to play well enough to get in.
The Conference agreed and the draw took place. Surprisingly, all the teams in your World Cup league made it ahead of youse, and the fact you appeared in last place (behind the referee actually) is neither here nor there. Who knows, maybe next time you'll make it up there! (please note this is not a breath holding situation).
Now, initial case studies regarding this open letter suggested that it seemed to generate as much confusion as not writing did. Therefore, A Real Town Counterfeit Blog has introduced "Glove Puppet Explanation Theatre" for those too dimwitted to understand the above.
Thank you for listening.
Now please leave and go and have sex with something.
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