Schmoozing...

I've been ignoring you... haven't I?

I'm sorry. It's not you... it's me... You're a lovely person, honest. I've just been busy. There's been no-one else. I swear. Hand on heart... I know you've heard this before but I mean it.

Today I was in a meeting with the Director of Finance with North Lanarkshire Council. And my boss. Not the one above me, not the one above her but the one above that. Uber-Boss and Uber-Uber-Uber-boss and me in one office. Uber-uber boss was on holiday. In Rothesay. Or Crete. Dunno. We don't talk much.

Had my stash of sniper rifles, weapons grade skunk and subscription to "Nationalist Girls Digest" been discovered and was I in big big big trouble? Nope. Fortunately all three of those LUP (lay up points) are still safe.

Do I mention this to boast slash show off? No. I mention this to whinge. I bought a guitar about three weeks ago from John. It was nice and shiny and black and I practised without fail every day. Then I got a call from the Crazy Frog. Crazy frog say: "Protect the innocent. Uphold the law." And I did. Kind of. Just started actually... Crazy Frog is a Union Steward. I'm a union steward. But I was to talk to uber-bosses and ask why they were sacking 16 people. I did and they're not.

All of this means that for three weeks my nice shiny new guitar was loved, and played and cared for. And YOU were loved, and played an cared for. And for the past week or so, Bessie, as I like to call her... was unloved. She sulked in her rack. She didn't get to play my version of Flower of Scotland. She didn't get my to toy with the knobs on the amp which made it all distorty and nice and then to knock out possibly the quickest and noisiest version of Flower of Scotland you're never going to hear. She didn't get to get "Keep on Rockin' in the Free World" played with me amending the lyrics to "Na na na na Radio Free Scot-land..."

But I've been ignoring you for slightly longer. Now I've said sorry and I can turn bessie my shiny black guitar on with a clear conscience.

On some news note, you'll notice the "almost illuminated" section has gone. Byesie bye and hello cluster map. I have NO idea what it does.