Trip

I took a trip to Ben Lomond with friends... These ur the photies....










On the car trip there...










By yon bonny banks...










Another of those bonny banks...










Pier and hill










Sometimes you're better off back home...











We stop to spy some Heilan coos...










Another photie of them heilan coos...











Car window and landscape











Watering hole...











Another watering hole, with friend and kid...











My lunch











Kid number two bothering truck....

Legends...

I'm slightly more interested in meeting a few of my bloggerino's than reading the news right now.

Take Leonna for instance, she's linked to me and she's like an internet superstar... Far too many stalkers that one wee paisley lassie should have, but if she needs hauner's I'm there... See me... I'll do anything for a link! Even Michael G has linked to me and he's like a left-wing icon these days (honestly guys: Tommy Sheridan is his bitch...)

Anyway: Legends, yes, Princess Diana: hmm.... Tony Benn... mmm...

Various videos and new articles have appeared detailing all the conspiracy theories concerning how / why / when Princess Diana died. Now, admittedly my Republicanism means that I could officially give a crap how / when / if a member of the Royalty died... but this time it was all rather public and obvious.

The strange inevitability of Diana's death meant that we plebs couldn't get a respite from the conspiratorial moral panic. We couldn't escape the Daily Express diary of Mohammed Al Fayed's Illuminati theory about how his son died. And honestly... who can blame him. "Hi... my son got himself engaged to a Bond Villian's ex-wife. Do you want a bagel?"

Throw into this mix Tony "Wedgewood" Benn and his incessant "I'm the best Socialist. Ever. No contest. Tommy Sheridan can fuck right off and George Galloway is a cunt." Seriously... I'd rather have Tommy and all his sexaholic problems than George Galloway or Tony Benn any day. I could officially give a fuck if he got jiggy with SSP party members or not. My only regret from the SSP is that Katrina Trolle didn't pose with Chanelle from Big Brother in a Daily Star spread.

I mean honestly, who believed Diana's crocodile tears for all her weapons of Mass destraction and land mines, and who believed that it wasn't Tony Benn who shut down the Scottish mines for Hunterston and Torness Nuclear power stations...

What pisses me off, isn't pointless deaths, it's pointless beliefs. You have all the answers to your legends lies and you believe them. THINK!

Elderslie Reminder

Tomorrow. Elderslie. 3pm.

Go to Central Station, get a train to Johnstone. When you leave Johnstone, turn left. Follow the flags.

It's that simple.

(and thanks to Glasgow for the picture)

All our yesterdays

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Shakespeare from Macbeth (V, v, 19)


We should be thankful that John Smeaton's senseless disregard for his own life should be so vaunted by Glasgow. Scotland's own Jack Bauer managed to translate ordinary petty violence into something acceptable. Fine by me...

You'll probably note a slightly cynical tone from me, of late. Not a great deal of jokes on here, and to be honest I don't feel like making any in either this, or any of the subsequent ten blog posts. After that, back to normal. But then I doubt you (if you're a regular) come here because you know what to expect. I don't do "safe and normal" in any conventional sense (thus the odd occasion when I post something embarrassing and delete it the day after).

When those civilians saw the authorities fighting with two Al Queda terrorists in Glasgow Airport, a few saw red and got stuck in. They were interviewed, written about, blog-stalked, and subsequently dispensed with. And that should have been it. But it wasn't. People were entranced, in every workplace, in every street, and practically on every scottish forum on the internet, the gallus wee rangers supporter was vouched for (presumably along with his accomplices) as a bona fide weegie hero.

Once, just once, the Weege would shake it's fist at the world and feel something it hasn't felt in three hundred years.

This IS, of course, in spite of the fact that we actually caused the problem in the first place. This IS, of course, in spite of the fact that we hadn't we taken the Spainish approach of "oh right. Imperialism is a bad thing. Okay, we'll stop and not get bombed..." I even heard the term "Blitz spirit" used as if it was a good thing. Blitz spirit is fine if you're using it against something that can't be avoided. It's great. But if your troops are the ones massacring the bosh to get some black gold for a few mad americans then where the hell is the glory in that?

Maybe the glory is in the fact that we've probably voted against it all and are ignored. The SNP are against the war, as well as a fair few of almost every party IN the Scottish Parliament. Maybe the glory is in the detail. No-one asked us, but no-one is going to fuck with us without impunity either. THIS bit, I agree with.

But my optimism only extends so far. What walking abortion takes solace from violence without trying to solve the underlying cause? At least the IRA had an objective... once... They wanted a united Ireland and used it until they realised their tactics were being impeded by a much more powerful security service. But can we vaunt our civilian heroes without trying to argue for a solution to the very thing which caused the attack in the first place?

Do you preach pull-out or extinction? What do you propose for Iraq, or Afghanistan, or any other country in the Middle East? Did you know that when the Muslims learned (back in historical history) that the Messiah was predicted to enter Jerusalem throught the eastern Golden Gate in the Bible, the Ottoman Turks sealed the gate shut and built a graveyard in front of it so that the Messiah would literally have to enter Jerusalem over their dead bodies... Nasty, isn't it? Almost as nasty and the hundreds of thousands Scottish Soldiers have helped massacre under El Presidente George Dubya! Proud yet? Still feel gallus?

It's a vicious circle of violence and no-one benefits. I'm not a pacifist, but I don't see the reasons for any of these deaths or attacks.

The only thing we, as Scots, have is each other in a community. If circumstances beyond our control target US, then it's right we celebrate protecting ourselves. Most of us would like to think we'd do the same. It's tribal, a common ID painting the blood of the aggressors onto your faces and roaring at the hills.

But then we're not exactly civilised, are we? No matter how much we pretend we still worship trees, rocks and pools of water. Your little Jesus Crucifix is nailed to a tree. Most versions of Christianity have that tree with or without a man on it. You worship the tree either way. Your baptism recreates that nice moment when pagans worshiped their local stream and your rocks are your altar. You even have a pantheon of gods and demi gods. Although chances are you call the "Saints". And we still squabble over the dirt of someone elses land here or there. Your heroes are the best warriors and you, inevitably, are Agamemnon in Troy.

Didn't Carl Jung call it the collective unconscious? Didn't Aristotle and Plato reveal it as archetypes? Can't you see yourself in every picture of every art gallery? When you smoke the weed to escape all this madness, aren't you just becoming Shamans and Druids again?

"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything." Friedrich Nietzsche

T-shirts...

Please find attached a new range couture from the Firefox Chronicles...

http://www.cafepress.com/ffxchronicles.146726673

It's stylish, cheeky and ultimately not worth the money you'll pay for it...

It's part of our "Richey Manic" range of t-shirt wear...

Friday...

Okay. Friday. We liked Friday. Friday was most cool.

Firstly two incredible things happened. One: I got notification that my Novel was being sent to me in proof format. Secondly: my Kilt arrived and damnit... the feckin' thing fits.

Therefore, I'm now a published novelist with a Kilt. This, in most respects, makes me happy.

And then I went to a works night out. Various cools things happened at said night out, but the main problem was that some people seemed to get it into their heads that I was interested in work shinto.

Let me be clear on this: when fate conspires to meld Firefox with Alcohol at a "shindig" then he OFFICIALLY doesn't give a crap about work shinto. In fact, let me be the first to provide you with what the "official" position actually is.

1. Your work shinto has been officially labelled "blah blah"
2. Please write your "blah blah" on a sheet of A4 paper.
3. Fold your "blah blah" into an envelope.
4. Address your "blah blah" to "Blah Blah Administrator, 89 Blah Blah House, Blahblahtown, Govan, Glasgow, Scotland, G67 3BB"
5. Fanks very much.

Does that clear things up?

Alternative Olympics Logo (from the Chronicles)

Countdown 2

“I sort of felt sorry for the damn flies. They never hurt anybody. Even though they were supposed to carry disease, I never heard of anybody say he caught anything from a fly. My cousin gave two guys the clap and nobody ever whacked her with a newspaper.” Lenny Bruce – How to talk dirty and influence people.

1 - Welcome back online

How are you? Are you okay?

We have to get the technical stuff out of the way first; otherwise you might end up confused. You shouldn’t think I’m trying to patronise you, it’s just that someone around here needs help and it isn’t you, okay?

The reason you can’t remember your old pal Max is because you’ve had a slight accident. A rather monumental one, actually, I don’t mind admitting that. Mind you, it didn’t happen to me…

Most first chapters introduce one or all of the main characters: The first would be you. Fame at last! You are a legend! You are a god! You have had sex with all the people you have ever wanted, and felt warm and squishy in more than one dimension of reality.

That is the other point: you are not anything consequential where you are now. Nope. You are a nothing; zip; de nada; Count Zero of the Security-Guard Role Playing Club. Your ‘reality’ is so dull, so meaningless and so mind-wrenchingly pedantic it’s a surprise you’ve not actually committed suicide yet. Go and get that rope or those razor blades because it’s not getting any better.

I jest, READ ON...

Chaos Theory

American views on Independence

Figured I should, at least, pass on this slice of Americana regarding the recent Scottish Elections. I'm sure you'll probably understand that I was wanting to move back to the weird and slightly artsy shinto that floats my boat in between important Scottish political events (like elections and referendums...)

Also, can anyone tell me about the poster I placed to the left of this post? Picked it up in Glasgow and dunno what it's about?

Answers to: kenny.sheerin@gmail.com

Thanks.

Fanning the Flames of Freedom

May 12, 2007—Last weekend the Scottish people did something many said they never would do. For many years the flames of independence have spread, but Scots have been discouraged from continuing such a pursuit. They have been told that independence is impractical, ridiculous and even impossible. However, last weekend, many showed via the ballot box that they have had enough of the so-called United Kingdom.

Despite that Scots have shown they wish to be an independent nation once more, by taking a first step in that direction. The enemies of Scottish freedom are still attempting to hijack last weekend’s election. The European media outlets, political organizations and others are trying to claim that such an election was a fraud. That the Scottish people would never think about independence. Such claims are proverbial slaps in the faces of the Scottish people.

We, the members of the Jefferson Republican Party of the United States of America, congratulate the Scottish people and the Scottish Nationalist Party for their recent victory, and this important step towards independence, which they have achieved. After 300 years of London-based dominance, is very significant, and is a sign of greater things to come for the Scottish people.

Jefferson Republican Party of the United States of America
William Potter
Noah Cooke
Ray Perdue

Arbroath Smokin'

Today was the Arbroath Rally. As always the pub was better organised than the march and rally beforehand. Jacobiker (who occasionally stops by my blog) I can only apologise. He's the most dedicated guy for Scottish Culture I know and missed the boozing session where we were REALLY organised. I think I owe the guy more than a few drinks. In fairness that's true for the rest of the planet but I'll gloss over that one.

Naturally the weegie contingent were late. But we partied hardy until we left for Weegie Land. Then I got home. Eventually.

Hopefully my camera worked. I still haven't quite gotten around to working out how to rewind the smegger, but that'll have to wait until the morra. There IS a manual. But the camera is from the 60s, is Russian and none of the controls are in English. If you're expecting pictures in the next few days, unless some of the Chronciles Maryhill readers send me photos, I wouldn't hold your breaths...

I heard more than I my fair share about scurrilous rumours I heard at said event. I'm so pissed off I'm tempted to share... Since we don't have myspace "how am I feeling today?" capabilities here in the chronicles, I'll just have to take you through my emotions and you can guess: first I was disheartened, then I was resigned, then I got angry, penultimately I got REALLY angry and finally I went postal on a Richmond Superking Methol Cigarette (which did my bronchitis no good whatsoever).

I had one of those moments I rarely get where a few people said: "Do you have a Blog? Is it ra Chronicles?" So hello to my extra two readers... Commendments on your excellent choice in blog reading!

Next major Republican Socialist event is May Day. We're intending to show up and march with oor flags. This event is naturally going to be hoaching with Labourites and Trade Unionists who are wondering who the dudes in Kilts and Red shirts are with the Red Flags marching like paramilitaries.

How can YOU FF Chronicles Bloggerinos take part? Easy. Wear a red top. Find dudes at the May Day Rally in Glasgow (whenever the hell it is) carrying flags you can see on the left and go and say hello. Don't worry, I know it can be difficult meeting new people, but we're really nice... honest. Well... I say that. I am. Ish. Look look look, come and say hello. Say you read the Firefox Chronicles and that Kenny invited you. They're treat you well and someone will give you a swig from their hip flask. What more can I offer... free alcohol!

Why... why go somewhere where there's likely to be a lot of pissed off Shop Stewards and Labour Politicians? I bet you're thinking: "My, Mr. Kenny, that so totally doesn't sound even remotely appealing. Why for are the SRSM going along to May Day?" Well, my inquizitive Bloggerinos, going to May Day is a bit like shagging Jordan. You know you don't want to, but you know you're probably going to have to at some point. You just have to make sure that Peter Andre isn't there with a video camera when you do.

Naturally you're welcome to show. Please say hello. No-one says hello to me in my blogging capacity nearly enough...

My Novel

Well... I finally did it. Barring spelling and grammer checks... it's done. It's amazing what being housebound with bronchitis can do for your literary productivity.

The science fiction novel I've mentioned here and there in the blog is now done... finally. I've officially gone up the rung from "aspiring" to "unpublished" since I have something for publishers to refuse!

Actually, I'm thinking about using Lulu dot com for the book, but either way the story is done.

Thank christ for that... I was getting obsessive, honestly. If you want a PDF copy email: kenny.sheerin@gmail.com This is a one time only offer to Firefox Chronicles readers of a free novel. No ifs, no buts, just a free PDF copy of a novel via email. As soon as I get the thing on lulu that's the offer over. And that's just a matter of reformatting the effin' original word document!

If this was myspace, i'd put my mood on as "over the fucking moon"

Message ends.

Zen and the Art of Postering

Vote Independence

A PDF file for a poster is available here...

Indy First March 31 - The Photos - Another Set

Indy First March 31 - The Photos

Reasons for Scottish Independence #15

Sweet little lies

SRSM Speeches at Glencoe 1990

The following is a video of SRSM speeches back in 1990.

The SRSM Video.

Radio Free Scotland

Once upon a time I posted this... Chris Moyles, on todays Radio One Show reminded that the reason I despise local radio is because they've nothing to say that's worthwhile.

And then something happened a couple of week back some people were discussing some shinto on a forum I frequent and it ACTUALLY happened. Someone broadcast a Radio Show I couldn't miss... It just felt right. I didn't have to bugger off to the kitchen to avoid being patronised, I didn't get to shout at the Brit Broadcasters who were playing Keane because a few London stations though they were "cool" or because they were banging the drummers girlfriend... (this bit might be libellous though...)

So... maybe they're just learning and there's the odd delay and sometimes the songs end a bit early... but in this case it's just enigmatic. On the basis of the three episodes I've listened to thus far there even seems to be a structure: one hour of folky tunes, and the next hour for modern music. Interspersed are interviews, new Scottish music, snippets, comment and general humour and propaganda.

For someone who has listened to BBC Radio One because there was -- "fuck all else to do" - Friggin' in the Riggin' -- I've FINALLY got something to listen to.

And therefore SO DO YOU. Go to Radio Free Scotland and work out how to listen from there. It's pretty simple. If you can't listen, then either a) your computer is shit or b) you are a moron. There... I've said it. LISTEN.

Why? Because this gives us, as a pro-independence movement, credibility. You can HEAR people talking our talk on a wednesday and friday at 9pm. You can send your stuff via email to the DJ and you can just listen in and switch off feeling good.