Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Jings Crivvens... help ma boab...

Like most people, I get that "Oh Jesus, what have I done?" moment on a Saturday or Sunday Morning. On one occasion it was a weekday morning and I had been sober for a month previously (but we'll quickly gloss over THAT incident...)

Anyway. Monday morning came and I was wondering why my bank balance was £40 under what it should have been. I didn't ministatment it like I probably should have, but ran through the events.

(...brief aside. The reason I didn't check my mini-statement was because I was reading a Derren Brown book and thought it's section on memory was so completely brilliant I would attempt to remember a line of Pictish and Scottish Kings going back to the start. Yes... it's geeky and stupid. But lets be frank: you're not reading this because I look good in speedos... currently I'm trying his techniques out and therefore avoiding anything that comes close to an aide memoire.)

Anyway, the missing £40 business. Nothing immediately came to mind until I was at an SRSM meeting on Sunday and got my usual ribbing for avoiding Kilts. This led me back to ebay (which I had signed up for drunk on Saturday night). This, in turn led me to the two (and only two) things I look up by choice on ebay: cameras and kilts.

In cameras I look for everything. Canons, Nikons, Leicas (drool), Hasselblads (megadrool)...

In kilts my tastes are very specific (and thus why I don't have one). I want a decent McNeill one. (cos of my gran).

Clearly though, through that rather desperate haze my judgement became impaired and I looked a "freedom tartan" kilt costing about £35 quid.

I could even remember the words that I used when I saw it. It was those words that have haunted me my whole life: "What's the worst that could happen?"

I don't even have a bloody sporran. There's a place in Barras I know for that. But can you wear kilts with trainers? I'll bloody have to. Fortunately the Siol prefer Black t-shirts to Prince Charlie jackets (which I'm sorry... make ordinary people look like waiters).

So there you have it... Scotland's worst kiltie ever... I'll be honest, in spite of my lost £40 quid I'm hoping it gets delayed in the post. Cheap kilt, cheaper sporran and converse trainers with black t? Whatcha think? [embarrassed]I guess it shows my priorities in life when the whole shebang costs less than my camera... [/embarrassed]

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