Dungeons and Dragons - The Bannockburn Rant

Maybe it's just me, but the fact that I don't get to go up the rotunda on the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn is even more soured by the fact that a group of jumped up Dungeons and Dragons fanatics get to ponce about with swords and their inept grasp of history while I'm stood outside.

Lets be brutally honest here people: Battle Re-enacting is one step up from Dungeons and Dragons and half as cool.

I want to go to Bannockburn because I know the history and know the importance of it's place in what made MY country. A group of Lord of the Rings fans get PRECEDENCE over me so that they can act all Frodo Baggins on the ground where my countrymen died... please... that's more than just an insult.

I'm sorry: do you see see HALFWIT written on my forehead? Can I not read the section about how much admission they've charged for this delicacy? It's great. I don't get to commemorate one of the most important events in my country's history AND if I want to get in I get to pay to watch something IMPORTANT being acted out by a group of self-important fuckwits who'd probably be more comfortable dressed up like Legolas and hanging out with a Lion, a Witch and a Wardrobe.

It was even better at the meeting concerning it. I couldn't say anything much at it. You've read my rant this far, you know why I remained silent. Those poor bastards at the NTS don't need me vomiting crazy all of their shit idea. Except for the miniscule detail that I'm right. That aside, I'm sure all those forty-something losers dressed up as King Hob and "I'm am completely not a whoospie" Eddie II will do a fine job. This is aside from the fact that the re-enactors, the NTS and those attending have all missed the point.

In almost every town across Scotland we have wee plaques up for our dead during World War One. I tell you what, why don't get some of our sixteen year olds. We dig a long trench, dump them in, starve them and hose the apex of the trench with machine gun fire so that they can get the full misery of World War One as well? After that we can get some terminally ill patients from hospital and show them what death is like as well? OR we could go back to Napoleonic times, pick a town and send ten thousand people picked from a phone poll to kill and rape all the citizens of a town so that they know what a Napoleonic siege is like?

You get my point? We rightly show our war dead respect. RIGHTLY. But not if it's long enough ago to make the NTS a few bucks. It's moral and social seppuku like this which is the reason I don't want to be British. It's because of the inevitability of shinto like this being done time and time and time again which pisses me off and makes me want to make a country we can actually be proud of.

My rant is almost over. But let me be clear: If you go along to this re-enactment. YOU ARE A MORON. You OFFICIALLY have lost permission to read this blog.